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Wednesday, February 13th, 2002
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9:24 pm - lang.
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| Friday, February 8th, 2002
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3:09 pm - livejournal
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lj*s really pissing me off right now. first off, i can*t read her journal anymore, better : the computer directly sneezes, waves a last time with a white hanky, says 'bye bye', cries and then crashes. *grrr*
secondly, somebody with more than 600 people on his\\her\\its friends list added me to his friends list. i feel like something really special *cough*.
and thirdly, far too many people for my taste use it.
and argument-for-deleting-my-lj-no-4 is that if you want to have a really really good 'lay out' (my web site doesn*t have a lay out. why should it? ... and i*d like to have an lj with a special look. nothing that always looks the same ...), you have to pay lj monthly. which really sucks.
i more like the diary on my web site. it*s in german anyways (sorrie ...).
BUT i*d still want to read some of these journals on my friends list. hmm.
and i*d miss these people. because hardly anybody of them ever e*mails me.
okay, i don*t like e*mails but ... hm. it sometimes is the only way to 'stay in contact' ...
blah#
current mood:  thoughtful
current music: * The Doors *-* The House Of The Rising Sun *
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| Tuesday, February 5th, 2002
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5:18 pm
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the song is by system of a down. sorrie, *Vera*, *Karla*, *Ellen* & *Tanja*, i*m an ignorant. hmhm.
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4:49 pm - that*s not enough ... you want EVERYTHING.
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hm.
today i forced *Patty* to not write the english~test ... but she did. wäh.
it was partly easy, too easy, and the other part ... oh dear. i had a blackout. *sigh* ... and all answers were guessed. *sigh* i hope i guessed right. [o fortuna ... stay with me?]
i*m going to make a button for *Sarah* now. just because i don*t have anything better to do ... eh, eh, eh ...
*Sternchen* and *Lumi* were\\ARE extremely cute today. they*re in a kinda 'cuddle~mood'. and i didn*t want to go here but i need some more cat fodder, so ... here i am.
*Kami* called me today. i dunno why i now call here *Kami* but in some strange way ... i wanted to call her [*Isola*] all the time *Kami* during the last few weeks. *sigh* ... but she had to hang up. her father didn*t want her to talk to me, that is. i*m angry. ... and sad.
and i listened to 'where the birds always sing' by the cure all day today. reminded me of one of my class mates, *Claudia*, who died three years ago of cancer. isn*t it strange that *Tom*s father died of cancer in the same year? hmm. and *Tom* said he listened to a certain song all the time when this happened. same here ... with that song.
it might sound brutal in a certain way but i think some people just have to die to make you even stronger. ahhh.
no, i don*t believe in things just happening. i believe in things happening for a certain reason. EVERYTHING happens because ...
and i think i won*t go to the wgt this year. not last year, not the year before ... *sniff* ... i do not have anybody i could go there with. who*d allow *Kami* to stay away with such a nasty, arrogant and childish (eh, eh) person like me? her parents? ahhh, joke! *grrr*
or does anybody of you wanna go there with me? or you? hmm.
*sniff*
and now i*ll download this 'angels deserve to die' song. just to show how addicted i can be ...
current mood: angry, sad, annoyed, bitchy.
current music: none.
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| Monday, February 4th, 2002
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7:53 pm - festivals
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só, ich geh* gleich mal nach hause ...
heute morgen im bus hatte ich keinen besseren gedanken als *ich will auf ein festival ... endlich ... nach all den jahren, in denen es nicht geklappt hat [vorletztes jahr bizarre, hurricane, southside und wave gotik treffen UND letztes jahr southside, m*era luna und wave gotik treffen ... ja. ich würd* gerne auf*s diesjährige wgt ... nur, höhö ... mit wem? mehr zu diesem thema lesen sie bitte weiter >>unten.]
so. ich würde gerne auf*s ...
... bizarre
... m*era luna*
... open flair
... wave gotik treffen*
probleme :
* mh. tscha. wie soll ich*s sagen? ich glaube kaum, dass sich auf die schnelle jemand findet, der mit mir dort hin geht ... weil sich doch schon einige leute in meinem freundeskreis von der gothic szene distanzieren bzw. dies schon getan habe. versteht das jetzt bitte NICHT falsch! ich habe nichts gegen diese tatsache, wenn sie sich so wohl fühlen, ist das alles ganz gut und schön. nur ... fahr* ich nicht gerne auf konzerte, festivals, etc. ich geh* nicht mal gerne alleine ins kino. anders ist es beim klamotten kaufen. ich habe da nicht gerne leute um mich *rum, weiss nicht warum ... ah. *vom thema ablenk* ... eventuell kommt *Isola* ja mit. und eventuell habe ich bis dahin ja schon, haha, meinen führerschein.
auf*s bizarre könnte ich mir wirklich vorstellen, hinzugehen. da *Michael A.*, *Michael B.*, *Tanja*, *Tom*, etc. schon davon schwärmen ... dorthin zu gehen. fänd* ich echt schön. ... nur steh* ich nicht so auf crossover.
jedoch, dieses *angels deserve to die*, wonach *Tanja*, *Karla*, *Ellen* und *Vera* so süüüchtig sind ^_~;;, find* ich auch nicht schlecht. ist das crossover? hmm. egal. ist glaube ich von den emil bulls. aber DA bin ich mir auch nicht sooo sicher, berichtigt mich bitte, falls ich zu ungebildet bin.
egal. dat lied is schön, wa?!
genauso wie ... halt* dich fest ... *you remind me* von nickelback. *sigh*
sind das jetzt düstere geheimnisse? hm. *Stefan* hat am freitag ein düsteres geheimnis aufgedeckt :
jaaa, ich war in einem karnevals~tanzverein! das tanzen war eigentlich ganz "cool", aber ... hm. ... scheiss preise. und scheiss musik. scheiss karneval sowieso. aber egal.
ich war ja eh erst zwölf jahre alt, was das auch nicht entschuldigt, aber es klingt immer so, wenn jemand sagt "ach ... da war ich erst zwölf" ... blah. blah. blah.
bitte, danke.
wer fährt mit mir auf ein festival? *luftschlösser bau*
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5:30 pm - siiiiiiiigh
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this day didn*t pass like it should.
my breakfast this morning was an entire tin of coke. *dies* i*ll never drink that again! not at this time! when i was in school, i was kinda *always shaking*, and i felt like, in five minutes i*m gonna stand up and run downstairs to the toilets to vomit. ugh.
then, when school was out, i first went to franchipani. i asked if i could work there for awhile, and probably i will. yay ^__^! i so need a job. don*t have any money anymore. i*m so dependened on my mum*s payment right now and she always forgets to give me money. *sniff* ... eh. all right. but i*d have to work until 7.00pm. three days a week. ah, i think this will work anyways ... damn, i am happy about this.
[aaand : i*m so courageous, eh, eh ...!]
then i went to the bus station, to call my mum. aha. but she wasn*t at work, so i decided to go to eschweiler, because i needed - money -. went to the bank in eschweiler after 30 minutes bus ride, got 1 euro and went to a shop to buy a pen. because i need a new one. tomorrow we*ll write an english test, and i just had a red (!) pen and a pencil. and both i can*t use. *siiigh*
i spent 60 euro cent on a fucking pen! *ARGH* and this even was the cheapest. ;_;
then i took the bus home, tried to visit my mum, but, NO, there wasn*t anybody ... and i had to talk to her. i still have to.
*Tom* called me and asked if i still wanna go to the aoxomoxoa tonight, and i was just like "eh ... *Tom* ... we wanted to go monday next week, remember?" damn i am so stupid! i wish i didn*t say that. i wish i just said "yeah, alright, i still wanna go ..."
damn!
and now i*m at achim*s home and it seems that *Isola*s parents didn*t tell their daughter that i just called and wanted to talk to her. she didn*t call back.
*sniff*
but it*s good she had fun at the chat meeting. mhm.
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| Sunday, February 3rd, 2002
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10:24 pm - sigh
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i have got to go in six minutes ...
so bye bye everyone ... *huggles*
*Isola* >>> you can always call me. whenever you*re back. but my cellphone-number, alright?
ah yes, and if somebody needs something that will cheer him\\her up, go look here
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8:41 pm - durcheinei
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*Kaxxii*, this site so rules! ^^;;
und wer wohnt eigentlich bei mir in der nähe? dann können wir ja so tun, als würden wir ein chatter treffen machen *slaps herself*!
*lol*
current mood:  weird
current music: men in black on tv.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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8:26 pm - i*d be so happy ...
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[...mh.]
i envy people who are able to burn cds. really ... if i was able to ... hm ... i*d burn cds all the time. just the ones that i do not want to buy. there still are a few cds which i so HAVE TO buy. like, cds by samsas traum [:i do not want ANY burned cd of samsas traum!] ... *sigh*
but if i had to burn some cds, just for my own pleasure [and i*m sure it WILL be pleasure.], i*d burn the following ones :
don huonot - verta pornoa ja propagandaa
lacrimosa - elodia
pain - rebirth
placebo - black market music
rammstein - sehnsucht
untoten - maultot [okay, that one USED TO be a tape. i know. but it*s impossible to buy them right now and as far as i know nobody wants to share this tape with anybody else. *sigh*]
and many, many more.
[[merke : schenk* mir einen cd-brenner?]]
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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8:09 pm
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bin momentan im #Finsternis chat.
ich will auch auf ein chatter treffen *heul*. ich will die leute, die ich aus dem chat kenne einfach nur mal überarschen mit allen mitteln. ich würde sogar meinen eigenen channel gründen, nur UM dann ein chatter treffen zu veranstalten. hah.
rina = das organisations:talent.
ach ja ... habe ich schon erwähnt, dass ich *Isola* vermisse? ... *sigh* ... ich. vermisse. sie. ... und ich kann ihr keine verdammte sms senden. das leben ist wirklich unfair ... manchmal.
[lass* uns baumkuchen essen.]
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7:21 pm - bored.
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weil mir momentan wirklich extrem langweilig ist, habe ich die zeit sinnvoll genutzt und *Isola* einen button für /shichi gemacht. here you go :
button
sie ist immer noch in hanover ... *sigh* ich wünschte, sie würde anrufen. ich vermiss* sie so sehr!
current mood: bored and lonely.
current music: * Marilyn Manson *-* Irresponsible Hate Anthem *
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(20 comments | comment on this)
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5:41 pm - mhm.
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i made some buttons for my site. hmmm. but whenever i take a look at them, the computer crashes. damn!
yessss, again a test *sigh*. but, waiiiii, that makes me happy!
 see which greek goddess you are.
höhö.
oh ... mh? wie war*s auf dem #yaoi.de~chatter treffen? ERZÄHLT MIR ALLES! hm. jaaa. ^^;;
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| Saturday, February 2nd, 2002
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1:42 pm - off now
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and now i*ll go watch lotr. again ... and
again and again and
again and again and again and again ...
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| Thursday, January 31st, 2002
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9:36 pm
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9:12 pm - ;_;
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i miss you, too.
i guess i*m doing well. except for some tiny things, but they*ll get okay someday. mhm.
optimism rules.
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8:51 pm - d r e a m
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habe ich dir schon von meinem traum gestern nacht erzählt? mh. ich war erst um 5 uhr aufgewacht und bin dann mehr oder minder wütend wieder eingeschlafen.
dann träumte ich, ich wäre in einem riesigen geschäft, à la extra oder real oder so. da hatten sie - nur alternatives zeug - kordhosen (patchwork, 'uni', etc.), jacken, etc. und eben auch eine secondhand-cd-abteilung. und da war ich nun und hatte eine liste von allen cds dort in der hand. aber ich konnte mich nicht entscheiden, ob ich nun eine cd von die form (das war jedoch mein favorit.), marilyn manson, sanguis et cinis oder bush kaufen soll. hm. und ich habe die [verkäuferin] gefragt, ob sie meine cds, die ich nicht mehr haben wollte, aufkaufen möchte.
sigh. ja. so einen scheiss träum* ich.
...und jetzt bist du dran.
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8:09 pm - sigh
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i*m gonna meet *Stefan* tomorow. that*s great. whoohoo ...
[mh. take the test. show me that you know me? eh?]
well. hm. no.
- tomorow we*ll have ONLY two lessons. that*s great. i asked her if she wants to go to the *rockfabrik* with me tomorow but she can*t because on saturday, there*s that chat-meeting of #yaoi.de. *sigh* i wish i could go there, too.
- - oh. i bought new clothes today [THRILLING!]. yeah. darkpurple cord trousers, a black ]*siiiigh*[ pullover made of velvet AND a black rivet belt. wow!
- - - i*m not wearing any underwear right now. okay, that*s thrilling ... ^^;;
*cough* eh ... mh. i got a nice present yesterday. a condom! hooray! thank you, achim! *lol* ...
hmmm ... i*m waiting for that sms. i guess he won*t have any time, but i can try it anyways ... weh. anybody out there living in aachen or near aachen who wants to go to the rocke tomorow and who can take me with him\\her there? fuck, i need a car. ...or a hellicopter. *ehö*
mh. *Lumi* and *Sternchen* are cute ... as always. *hugs them*
damn. ... *sniff* ... *sniff* ... you*d never guess ... ;___;
i*ll miss them.
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6:49 pm - hm
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5:50 pm - friendtest ...
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4:51 pm - noch ein survey ........
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1. nirvana? : i kinda agree with the person i stole this survey from in the point that nobody would really give a shit about them if kurt cobain didn*t die ... anyways, i like their music.
2. offspring? : *shakes* wäh, shut up.
3. aerosmith? : mh. why not? but i didn*t listen to much of their music during the last year ... hmm.
4. silverchair? : okay. i really like 'ana*s song' ...
5. orgy? : okay, too.
6. beastie boys? : *disappears* hell no!
7. bon jovi? : i agree with the person again, i really like their 80ies stuff, but the new ... humm ... no.
8. limp bizkit? : *throws up*
9. queen? : no.
10. the doors? : i adore them. ^^;;
11. jimi hendrix? : no.
12. jefferson airplane? : uhm ... i don*t want to sound like if i don*t know this person ... but i don*t know this person. *sigh*
13. journey? : eh ...
14. KoRn? : nonono. but they*re better than limp bizkit anyways.
15. rage against the machine? : hm.
16. godsmack? : no no no ... da da dab dam ... no no no ...
17. david bowie? : yes yes yes ... he was the first musician that i really liked. ^^;;
18. bush? : 'silence is not the way ... we need to talk about it ... if heaven is on the way ... we*ll wrap a world around it ...' ... i like them. really.
19. guns *n roses? : [hello, *Michael* (B)] they*re ok.
20. metallica? : mh. i really adored them until they started all that 'napster'~shit ...
21. ozzy\\black sabbath? : ozzy osbourne? mh. i like the fact he suported lita ford ... but ... mh. no, i do not really like his music ... but black sabbath rock! ^^;;
22. linkin park? : no.
23. papa roach? : NO!
24. green day? : yes ...
25. 3 doors down? : okay.
26. staind? : not my taste ...
27. how did kurt cobain*s death affect you? : when he died it actually didn*t interest me. *sigh* i was ten or so ... mh.
28. how many cds do you own? : let*s say it this way : FAR! TOO! LESS!
29. how many cd clubs do you belong to? : zero.
30. what is the most embarassing cd in your collection? : there isn*t any. why should my cds be 'embarassing'?!
31. do you still listen to it? : nah, i do sit~ups on it.
32. what cd did you buy because you only liked one song but you ended up loving the whole cd? : erm ... i only once bought one cd because of one song and ended up hating the whole cd.
33. what cd did you buy that was a total waste of money? : there*ve been a few. but i gave all of them away ...
34. how old were you when you first started getting into music? : i was six years old. but i only listened to david bowie these days ...
35. can you play an instrument? : e~guitar, e~bass, keys, drumset, flute (wahey!) - - - so ... erm ... no. ^^;;
36. what song(s) do you always get stuck in your head? : during the last days it were only songs by letzte instanz. and today, i had nothing better to do in computer studies class than writing up one of these songs ... ["und dann.....machst du die tür auf UND DANN wachst du ZU FRÜH auf...und dann...fängt ÜBERHAUPT NICHTS MEHR an! und dann. war es das leben ...noch eh es BEGANN. VERTAN!" *sigh*] and last monday i was walking down the streets singing ['doo wa diddy ..' erm. NO!] 'mein todestag' by letzte instanz.
37. what song can you just not stand? : i can*t count them. they don*t interest me anyways ... why should i keep these names in mind?
38. what group should be banned from the music scene? : ehö. far too many.
39. if you could make your own woodstock, who would you invite? : ah this would be a great mixture ^_~ ... anyways, quite a lot of musicians i like already are dead [rauli, jim morrison of the doors, elvis (yes. shut up!) ...]. mh. well ... them.
40. what group do you listen to that no one else seems to like? : hm ... samsas traum.
41. what got you hooked on your all~time favorite group? : their songs. *cough* but there isn*t any. probably, it*s samsas traum right now or letzte instanz ...
current mood:  bored
current music: * Samsas Traum *-* Dies Ist Kein Traum *
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